Monday, June 9, 2014

These Sunny Days

Indeed, the name of my post today is perfect for my current life! Things have been hectic, fun, stressful, and crazy. Yes, all of these feelings can be felt at one time...just ask my mother (or any mother for that fact). Today’s post is about life and I’m going to share a few of the current struggles a girl my age encounters and how I personally deal with them. How does this relate to being a birthmother you may ask? Oh it does. Everything comes back to my thoughts of placing my baby. Everyday, no matter how crazy the day was, I think of Dayton and the Millers. If you ever thought that a birthmother’s thoughts of her child fade are sorely incorrect. To my fellow birthmoms, the daily thoughts and feelings you experience from placing must be dealt with positivity and love. It is the only way to deal with your emotions and live a healthy life (in my opinion). Of course, this is easier to say than always done! Hopefully I can share some ideas that help with the rough spots.

I have now been in Utah for two weeks where I have begun a new job in marketing. If you know me well, it is understood that me and sales (or similar) do not mix! AKA...I’m a scaredy cat. I am taking a leap. I am placing myself in uncomfortable situations and hoping I’ll figure it out along the way. In my life, focus and hard work have proven to be effective. I am not always sure of my capabilities, I am not always sure I am the best at what I do, but why not try? Don’t be afraid to try new things, what do you have to lose?! Surround yourself with voices of encouragement - this is a large part to finding success on a daily basis! Beginning this new job has also allowed me to make a new fabulous friend! She is a total sweetie and I am so happy I’m getting to know her. Through these methods, I have grown the most and learned a lot about myself. Who knows, maybe I’ll discover I’m actually very capable of doing what scares me most.

As a single adult, learning to be self-sufficient and self-loving is so important. Finances, friends, dating, health and many other things crowd my mind consistently. How about that To-Do list as well… YIKES. My parents always remind me, take a deeeeeep breath. Maybe a few (as needed). There is much to be said about a social life and dating post-placement (including for those single moms), but I will save more details on that for a later post. In short, the dating pressures are different following placing a child, especially if you’re religious. Upon returning to the dating world I have felt different, set apart, nervous, and sometimes judged negatively. Well guess what, this is where being self-sufficient and self-loving comes in. Soon after having the baby, my parents gave me the birthday gift of becoming financially independent. I would be lying if I said it’s been easy! However I am thankful my parents found it important for me to learn to take care of myself, especially in the world today. Being able to support myself has made me strong and brings me confidence. Pair that with my big girl decision of placing my baby and I am reminded - there is nothing I can’t tackle. Girls...listen up! Do not wait around for prince charming. Do you know how long this could take if you choose that route? There is so much you can accomplish, people to meet, and there are so many places you can go! Take charge, make goals, and work hard to achieve them. You’ll thank me later for making you get off your royal bum! ;)

Through the daily trials I encounter as a young single adult, I can’t express enough how important it has been to have hobbies and healthy outlets. My top three life savers include exercise, praying, and spending time with my friends & family. It is these things that keep me from emotional turmoil, depression, and anxiety. It is not always easy waking up early before the sun rises and going on a run, or remembering to always pray. However...through dedication, tears, and heart breaking experiences...I come out alive and things get better. Every time. Find your hobbies and your outlets, no matter what age or gender you are. I am continually looking for new things to try so as to keep my physical, mental, and spiritual self moving forward.

Life can be rough for everyone (and if someone says theirs isn’t, they’re lying). Hang in there and put a smile on your face. Think about your blessings and do things that make YOU happy and healthy!

...Or just get a dog… :)   

1 comment:

  1. I love your blogs. ...they're so inspiring